I have just come across an old diary I kept when I was 15 years old. My goodness, what a twat I was back then. It made for some very embarrassing reading – but it also made me laugh, so I thought I’d share with you. Maybe I’ll share a couple of entries…
The first page and a quarter of this entry was written in code. When I say code, I mean I swapped the vowels for mathematical symbols, like a fucking nerd. I’ll just write it in plain English for you.
18th Feb 1999
What is it with me and boys called Christopher? Take Chris One. I was hooked on him for totally ages, like nearly a year! I can honestly say that I’m over him now though, I swear.
Then there is Chris Two. He knows that I fancy him and he flirts all the time with me, even to the point where he pissed me off with all the sexy type notes that he writes me – it’s too obvious, you know? So I asked him did he fancy me and he said no, and now he’s worse than ever with the notes. I think it’s an ego thing.
And then there is Chris Three. Something tells me I should stay away from him, I don’t know why. He’s the quiet type although he doesn’t want people to know that so he tries to put on a front. But I can see through that. He hasn’t had many girlfriends, although I know that if I did go out with him he would be totally sweet. I really like him. Although if we went out and broke up then he would be the type of person to not talk to me again. And I HATE it when fellas do that. So far, two of the people I’ve went out with have done that. Chris One for a while and Timmy. He still really isn’t talking to me. I don’t really get this dating thing. If you are good friends with the boy and then you go out with him, you both act different and it’s weird. So you break up. But if the only reason you spoke to the boy is because you wanted to go out with him, and you do go out with him, then break up – it’s weird too. Cos all of a sudden it is like you are both strangers and you wouldn’t think that it was the same lad you were holding hands with the day before. I don’t know which is worse – going out with a good friend, breaking up and nothing is the same again; or going out with someone who isn’t so close then you never talk again cause then the only thing you have in common is the fact that you are each others’ exes. It wouldnt be nearly as bad if you never saw him again, but Chris Three goes to my school and he is in my french class. So we would see each other a lot. But I really would like to go out with him. How come, you always want to go out with a boy you know it would be a bad idea to go out with but you still go out with him anyway. And do you ever fancy a lad but then you go out with him and the moment you realise that he is yours, you totally go off him and don’t fancy him anymore? Why is that?
Bye,
Sarah x
